Viva Pinata

Viva Pinata

If there ever was a game that approaches the lucid wackyness of an LSD trip, that game has to be Viva Pinata. It is twisted beyond comprehension. For all you people who are not into gaming (aka the Moonpeople), Viva Pinata is a game that asks you to take care of a garden with living Pinata’s in order to become the best Pinatagarden-gardener in the world.

Obviously this game is aimed at young children as shown by the bright color palette and the simpleton use of language. But underneath this layer of coma inducing happiness we find sick and deprived game mechanics. And I really mean Charles Manson fucked up shit.

In real life a Pinata is a papier-mache object or animal filled with candy or small toys and at parties they let blindfolded children bash them to a pulp. I say hurray for traditions. Now, in Viva Pinata the Pinatas are alive, cute and genderless. Here too you can beat them to shit with a blunt shovel resulting in a shower of blood and guts… uh, candy. So far no surprises there. It’s a lot like killing naz’s in Call of Duty. The only difference is that Nazi’s are bad and Pinata”s are, well… they are cute and fuzzy animal thingies.

The real hidden horror in Viva Pinata stems from the fact that you need to feed them to each other to make them fall in love. Huh… What? Yes, this game shows us that love is not complete without devouring some innocent cute critter. For the softharted kids they created the option to give the Pinata’s candy to make them fall in love. Yes, that’s right, lovecandy. We grown ups call that shit XTC. Fuck!

So after you’ve brutally forcefed some Pinata’s to each other (or popped some x) to make them reprocreate you’ll end up with a Pinata Junior. Then you are expected to sell the little runt for money. Hey, ain’t that what they used to do with slaves? Shit, this game is more like Roots meets Cannibal Holocaust meets Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.

I recon Satan looks a lot like him...

I recon Satan looks a lot like him...

Of course no game is ever complete without an antagonist. Be it a cold ticking timer or some crazy out of his mind supervillain. In Viva Pinata he is called Professor Pester. I like to call him Satan. He and his dark minions tend to fuck up your garden just because they can. Thankfully you are not alone in your battle because you’ve got helpers who all look as if they’ve walked out of crappy horror movies, complete with freaky smiles and masks like Leatherface or Saw. I am guessing they are using the freakout factor to hush away the baddies or something like that.

To think that people are always bitching about killerspiele like Manhunt or Grand Theft Auto, who would’ve guessed the gruesome acts hidden underneath this veil of so called cuteness. Naturally I immediately had to share my findings with the world. That is, when I regained my consiousnes after a three day drinking binge to overcome the damage this game inflicted om my gentle nature. Peace out!

If there ever was a game that approaches the lucid wackyness of an LSD trip, that game has to be Viva Piñata. It is twisted beyond comprehension. For all you people who are not into gaming (aka the Moonpeople), Viva Piñata is a game that asks you to take care of a garden with living Piñata’s in order to become the best Piñatagarden-gardener in the world.

Obviously this game is aimed at young children as shown by the bright color palette and the simpleton use of language. But underneath this layer of coma inducing happiness we find sick and deprived game mechanics. And I really mean Charles Manson fucked up shit.

In real life a Piñata is a papier-mâche object or animal filled with candy or small toys and at parties they let blindfolded children bash them to a pulp. I say hurray for traditions. Now, in Viva Piñata the Piñatas are alive, cute and genderless. Here to you can beat them to shit with a blunt shovel after which they’ll explode in a rain of blood and guts… uh, candy. So far no surprises there. It’s a lot like killing nazi’s in Call of Duty. The only difference is that Nazi’s are bad and Piñata’s are, well… they are cute and fuzzy animal thingies.

The real hidden horror in Viva Piñata stems from the fact that you need to feed them to each other to make them fall in love. Huh… What? Yes, this game shows us that love is not complete without devouring some innocent cute critter. For the softharted kids they created the option to give the Piñata’s candy to make them fall in love. Yes, that’s right, lovecandy. We grown ups call that shit XTC. Fuck!

So after you’ve brutally forcefed some Piñata’s to each other (or popped some x) to make them reprocreate you’ll end up with a Piñata Junior.And then you are expected to sell the little runt for money. Hey, aint that what they used to do with slaves? Shit, this game is more like Roots meets Cannibal Holocaust meets Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.

Off course no game is ever complete without an antagonist. Be it a cold ticking timer or some crazy out of his mind supervillain. In Viva Piñata he is called Professor Pester. I like to call him Satan. He and his dark minions tend to fuck up your garden just because they can. Thankfully you are not alone in your battle because you’ve got helpers who all look as if they’ve walked out of crappy horror movies, complete with freaky smiles and masks like Leatherface or Saw. I bet they are using the freakout factor to hush away the baddies or something like that.

To think that people are always bitching about killerspiele like Manhunt or Grand Theft Auto, who would’ve guessed the gruesome acts hidden underneath this veil of so called cuteness. Naturally I immediately had to share my findings with the world. That is, when I regained my consiousnes after a three day drinking binge to overcome the damage this game inflicted om my gentle nature. Peace out!

About the Author

Long haired, tattooed and with an attraction to everything not so ordinary. Loves the world, not so all of its inhabitants. Open minded, floaty, down to earth and a bit of everything else... Likes to spend time reading, traveling, sports, boozing, gaming, watching movies and more. Yep, that sums it up quite right!